kawan baik aku dari samura call tengah hari semalam.
our of sudden. well not really. kata dia phone dia rosak. and dia baru je minta semula nombor aku through facebook hari tu.
banyak kali dia cuba call, to get latest update hidup aku, tapi aku sibuk dengan duniawi luar circle,
maka panggilan dia yang semalam lah baru berjawab.
so we talked. macam biasa, dia akan ungkit kisah aku mengamuk dan merajuk dengan dia masa kami form 5,
gara-gara dia tak mahu kongsi rahsia dengan aku.
dan dia akan ulang2 kata akulah satu-satunya kawan baik dia yang khianat dia.
tapi dalam banyak-banyak benda kami sembangkan,
yang paling terkesan, dia cakap macam ni,
"kau tau tak, kau tu suka peduli kat orang-orang yang tak suka kau lebih, sampai kau tak nampak sebenarnya ramai sayangkan kau"
bila dia cakap macam tu, aku jadi tersentap. bukan terasa hati ke apa.
but i think what he said is true. and i could actually relates it to my few series of life.
alright, this is how it goes.
awal-awal aku masuk mpsb, aku dah letakkan barrier dalam relationship colleagues to colleagues.
aku cuma kawan dengan seminima mungkin orang.
aku set dalam kepala, it's even better if they know me through my achievement rather than my real life outside of the office.
and i actually behaved that way for quite long.
sampailah aku kena travel out, and keep doing it for several time,
baru aku open up a bit.
still, aku tak berapa nak bagi orang kenal aku personally.
sampai lah earlier this year.
i guess, the ceo was kinda good at this, bringing my real nature out.
the fun side of me out of my shell.
ever since, aku ada attached dengan few more colleagues.
some, even aku layan macam adik-adik.
morning hugs, free hugs at any time needed.
sebab staff office 90% perempuan. so, emotionally attached is much more easier.
tapi still, aku tak rasa yang ada yang take my presence seriously.
sampailah MD jumpa aku, (yang mana aku ingat memang prosedur, tapi sebenarnya tak. he spare his time to personally meet some who wants to leave, not everyone who's about to leave)
and he said "Idrin, I'd like to apologize, for not taking my time, to get to know you earlier than this. I could have done things better to develop you and push you to where you're supposed to be"
tau apa jadi dekat aku?
aku sebak. sebab dia MD. dia tak pernah tengok hasil kerja aku secara langsung,
dia cuma kenal aku melalui other people.
and this is what he added up,
"It's good to know that you know about yourself, you know where you good at and where you're not. Not many people wants to admit that but you did and I'm proud of you"
Tskkkkkkkk~
That evening, kami ada majlis berbuka, yang dihadiri cuma staff.
macam tahun-tahun lepas, sebelum berbuka is sesi bermaaf-maafan.
as MD sendiri yang membuat announcement tentang notis aku,
most of them were shocked. sebab senyap-senyap dan its so sudden.
what surprised me is that, on that particular evening,
when my superiors and seniors shed tears knowing i'm going,
suddenly i felt, 'eh, people notice me. and they actually appreciate my presence'
aku cakap tentang apa aku rasa dekat sorang colleague.
Kak E, sebab dalam ramai-ramai kami memang sangat close berdua.
what comes out from her mouth is even shocking.
"Rin, orang ramai sayang awak. cuma diorang tak tunjuk. sebab tu awak tak tau dan tak rasa"
on my very last day,
i stayed back for iftar. for a final goodbye as a staff of mpsb.
*sigh* this was the only moment that i notice, people had noticed me earlier.
they felt the love i tried to spread.
some, even got affected knowing i'm not going to stay there physically.
at the end of the day,
i feel loved, accepted and appreciated.
you were right, my friend,
i guess from now on, i have to balance.
see both who love and hate me.
care for both equally.
our of sudden. well not really. kata dia phone dia rosak. and dia baru je minta semula nombor aku through facebook hari tu.
banyak kali dia cuba call, to get latest update hidup aku, tapi aku sibuk dengan duniawi luar circle,
maka panggilan dia yang semalam lah baru berjawab.
so we talked. macam biasa, dia akan ungkit kisah aku mengamuk dan merajuk dengan dia masa kami form 5,
gara-gara dia tak mahu kongsi rahsia dengan aku.
dan dia akan ulang2 kata akulah satu-satunya kawan baik dia yang khianat dia.
tapi dalam banyak-banyak benda kami sembangkan,
yang paling terkesan, dia cakap macam ni,
"kau tau tak, kau tu suka peduli kat orang-orang yang tak suka kau lebih, sampai kau tak nampak sebenarnya ramai sayangkan kau"
bila dia cakap macam tu, aku jadi tersentap. bukan terasa hati ke apa.
but i think what he said is true. and i could actually relates it to my few series of life.
alright, this is how it goes.
awal-awal aku masuk mpsb, aku dah letakkan barrier dalam relationship colleagues to colleagues.
aku cuma kawan dengan seminima mungkin orang.
aku set dalam kepala, it's even better if they know me through my achievement rather than my real life outside of the office.
and i actually behaved that way for quite long.
sampailah aku kena travel out, and keep doing it for several time,
baru aku open up a bit.
still, aku tak berapa nak bagi orang kenal aku personally.
sampai lah earlier this year.
i guess, the ceo was kinda good at this, bringing my real nature out.
the fun side of me out of my shell.
ever since, aku ada attached dengan few more colleagues.
some, even aku layan macam adik-adik.
morning hugs, free hugs at any time needed.
sebab staff office 90% perempuan. so, emotionally attached is much more easier.
tapi still, aku tak rasa yang ada yang take my presence seriously.
sampailah MD jumpa aku, (yang mana aku ingat memang prosedur, tapi sebenarnya tak. he spare his time to personally meet some who wants to leave, not everyone who's about to leave)
and he said "Idrin, I'd like to apologize, for not taking my time, to get to know you earlier than this. I could have done things better to develop you and push you to where you're supposed to be"
tau apa jadi dekat aku?
aku sebak. sebab dia MD. dia tak pernah tengok hasil kerja aku secara langsung,
dia cuma kenal aku melalui other people.
and this is what he added up,
"It's good to know that you know about yourself, you know where you good at and where you're not. Not many people wants to admit that but you did and I'm proud of you"
Tskkkkkkkk~
That evening, kami ada majlis berbuka, yang dihadiri cuma staff.
macam tahun-tahun lepas, sebelum berbuka is sesi bermaaf-maafan.
as MD sendiri yang membuat announcement tentang notis aku,
most of them were shocked. sebab senyap-senyap dan its so sudden.
what surprised me is that, on that particular evening,
when my superiors and seniors shed tears knowing i'm going,
suddenly i felt, 'eh, people notice me. and they actually appreciate my presence'
aku cakap tentang apa aku rasa dekat sorang colleague.
Kak E, sebab dalam ramai-ramai kami memang sangat close berdua.
what comes out from her mouth is even shocking.
"Rin, orang ramai sayang awak. cuma diorang tak tunjuk. sebab tu awak tak tau dan tak rasa"
on my very last day,
i stayed back for iftar. for a final goodbye as a staff of mpsb.
*sigh* this was the only moment that i notice, people had noticed me earlier.
they felt the love i tried to spread.
some, even got affected knowing i'm not going to stay there physically.
at the end of the day,
i feel loved, accepted and appreciated.
you were right, my friend,
i guess from now on, i have to balance.
see both who love and hate me.
care for both equally.
