of wedding dream.

menulis dah tak rasa berjiwa bila life is too carefree.
or when you know who reads them.
walaupun kadang-kadang tak ada apa nak fikir sangat pun.

but life has been fine so far.
despite of how scared i am to face this coming monday, or what's next after today.
sometimes, aku tak rasa aku ada masa untuk berfikir sangat pun.
'cause i have several life routines awaits then whenever i open up this interface of new blog post,
there goes my idea.
it all went blank.
suddenly tak tau apa nak kata.

or maybe, 'cause at work i have some close colleagues that i shared with about problem with works,
and at home furballs babies awaits for my adventure of the day.

this is the reality for me. that when i'm down or i'm sad, i write like nuts.
but there are times, like tonight i feel like writing.
tadi masa basuh baju raya merah ang ang (yang aku taktau nak pakai ke tak raya nanti, takut darat sangat je rupa pakai macam tu raya dengan sepupu2),
i have this thought.
AJ ada sebut few weeks ago,
regarding some checklist of wedding planning,
where, he was surprised with something he saw.

for me, boleh kata semua anak gadis have their own dream wedding.
but not all will work for it till the end.
jujur kata, selepas aku tengok dan baca wedding kak fynn, i stopped having a wedding dream.
well pada aku, on the day itself yang paling penting ada bakal suami, ada ummi abah, adik2. for me.
kalau ada saudara mara and close friends, that will be a bonus.
dulu ummi selalu marah sebab aku liat nak ke wedding.
bukan aku ada isu dengan wedding, but i get bored.
sebab everytime pergi wedding, i have no friends to talk to.
kira untung kalau ada adik2 or ummi & abah's close friends.
itu pun, cuma uncle rafi & aunty haa je yang boleh sembang with us.
so, ummi akan bising ckp mcm ni "kamu taknak pg walimah orang nnt takde org datang majlis kamu"

cuak juga dengar. tapi, realitinya sekarang, i don't want people coming just to compare, mommy.
ramai-ramai pun buat apa kalau penuh yang menjuih-juih bibir itu ini tak kena like it's their sons/daughters wedding.
sorry mommy, but some of your ahli persatuan ibu-ibu have that attitude that even dulu after spm, they were so 'worried' of my next step.

back to wedding.
untungnya jadi anak ummi dan abah, rezeki rumah nilai. :)
ada laman, ada taman.
ada ruang sikit dalam rumah.
i just need some space for photobooth.
nikah, masjid.
resepsi, we'll think of a place.
checklist lain, naaaah. i don't need 12 pasang baju.
baju nikah, baju salin satu. kan, awak?
nikah in white, salin tu kita buat merah hitam eh?
tapi colour apa pun boleh. asal baju tu kita boleh ulang pakai untuk raya.
ke untuk majlis rasmi ke.
untuk siapa tahu kalau ada kawan-kawan nak kita jadi pengapit ke, kan?

so yeah,
that's basically what my wedding will look like.
moga abah relax je bila anak sulung dia buat majlis macam koboi.
:D

i don't dream big, remember?
smaller and simpler, the better.
sebab, aku susah nak decide.
apatah lagi aku akan cuba puaskan hati orang.
so, less complicated it is, better.

step 1, dah setel. next, temukan secara rasmi.
whenever you're ready, Arjuna. hiks