November, again

I am not always positive.

Like a normal human being, i have my ups and downs.

Perhaps some of you who knew me would usually see my bright side and may or may never seen the opposite of it. 

But in the recent months, knowing that there’s so many changes going on in life, i need to make a firm decision on how i manages my days

I must be in control so that i could function on a day to day basis, especially at work

2022 has not been an easy year

Not because we’ve reached that 2020 (cause you see, pandemic hits us globally that year onwards and despite whatever the government decided, we still live with risk of getting infected with covid if not any other usually influenza/disease)

Well, 2022 has been a challenging year to me both physically and emotionally

I had to undergo my very first hospitalisation experience to remove not one but two ovarian cysts. And for that, i had to go through my very first PCR test. 

I was admitted for good three nights, and then discharged for home recovery for an additional of 6 weeks!

All went well, i must say. And of course, it was not something that i go through alone

Not long after I came back, here’s another news

Quite shocking, but expected. And now as i am typing this, it’s surely a gift and a blessings.

Me and my youngest sister received our calling for hajj. And i have to be away from work and life here for another good 8 weeks, given or take.

3 months after returned, i got pregnant! Found out about it and get to share it with my husband and close family and had a miscarriage at 6 weeks of pregnancy. 

Am I sad? It’s hard to tell. I would say, I am grateful. We’re entering our 9th year and we’re awarded with a chance. It was short, but it was meaningful for me.

And again, i am away from office duty.

As i return back to work, hey it’s November! 

Look at how fast time flies.

I could hardly track it this year. 

But i am grateful for the experience. 

Now, through these few main events that happened in my life, i know if i choose to dwell in negativity. I would drown. 

But life goes on. And i still wakes up for another day. 

So here i am typing this entry. 

And here i am also trying to remember this advises i kept giving to my circles

“For things you have control over in life, take charge and act on it based on the needs. But for things you don’t have any controls on, leave it to move on. Don’t pursue things you have no control over to just find yourself hurt”

Healing the heart, is not an easy journey. Staying positive at all time, is impossible, but doable. 

In the end of the day, Idrin. How far are you from Him?

Just a do’a away. Just a solat away. Just a simple “Allahu Akbar” away.